I am no longer afraid of getting old. Indeed I can’t believe I ever said anything so stupid. So childish. So offensive and arrogant. But mainly, so very, very stupid. I desperately want to grow old. [p. 114]
Reread after The Enigma Game, which features a younger and considerably more cheerful Julie. (My review from 2013.) This is still a very harrowing read, even though I know what happens.
This time around I especially noticed the marvellous portrayal of Engels, the translator/guard, who Julie portrays as monstrous because to reveal her acts of kindness would get both of them in trouble. It's a masterclass in unreliable narration and in why you should consider the audience, as well as the author, of a text.
Maddie and Engel are talking about cigarettes:
‘Never gave any to Julie!’ Engel gave an astonished bark of laughter. ‘I damn well gave her half my salary in cigarettes, greedy little Scottish savage! She nearly bankrupted me. Smoked her way through all five years of your pilot’s career!’
‘She never said! She never even hinted! Not once!’
‘What do you think would have happened to her,’ Engel said coolly, ‘if she had written this down? What would have happened to me?’ [p.310]
Also spotted a friend's name in the Acknowledgements: hope to discuss it with her soon.
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