...the awful collision between the silent, unfeeling dead and immensity of feeling they generate in the living. [loc. 782]
Dr Richard Shepherd is one of the leading forensic pathologists in the UK: this account of his career, and his life, is a rivetting read. I found it amusing -- and terribly sad -- that he spent decades performing post-mortems, and being exposed to all manner of horrific deaths, before acknowledging that his job might have 'emotional repercussions'. That realisation is triggered by a panic attack he suffers while flying a small plane over Hungerford: the massacre there was one of his first big cases. He also recounts his experiences with the sinking of the Marchioness; the Clapham train crash; the murders of Rachel Nickell and Stephen Lawrence, amongst many others; various cases of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome; and the death of Joy Gardner, asphyxiated by a gag during a police immigration raid. This latter case prompted Shepherd to become involved in reviews of how restraints are used, their increased risk for sickle-cell trait sufferers, and training recommendations for those who use them. It's clear that he has been in a position to recommend changes in several areas, but in later chapters he decries the demise of forensic pathology, both as a discipline and as a career. Nowadays, apparently, it's all zero-hours, contract-based, with very little opportunity for research, or for public work such as disaster planning.
What made the book so interesting to me was the blend of insights into high-profile cases (many of which I remember, some of which personally affected me) and Shepherd's gradual insight into his own mental and emotional state. He documents the emotional distance of his first marriage, and his pride in being able to keep his feelings under control; he describes the death of his mother when he was nine years old, and his bewilderment about what he was expected to be feeling. Part of his problem (and his PTSD) was, perhaps, the toxic culture of 'alpha males' in which he spent the first decades of his professional life. Showing 'weakness' (such as vomitting at an autopsy) was mocked: shock or distress was not to be admitted.
If I forget everything else about this book (which seems unlikely, but: ageing) I hope I shall hold onto Shepherd's conclusion that 'death itself is probably actually pleasurable' {loc. 2071].
For Shop Your Shelves Bingo, Summer 2023: purchased 30 MAR 2019, prompt 'review a book'. Yes, I review everything, but this one didn't fit any other prompts!
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