2018/61: Untouchable -- Thalia Hibbert

... self-doubt, pale and pink and private like the inside of a stranger’s mouth. You shouldn’t have said anything. There’s a difference between refusing to feel shame and setting yourself up for a fall. She was used to ignoring self-doubt. It was rather prejudiced, and a bit of a bore. If she held an emotional tea party, self-doubt would eat all the scones and call Hannah fat if she complained. [loc. 674]

Nate Davis was one of the bad kids, growing up: full of rage that expressed itself in violence. Now he's back in the small town of Ravenswood, mourning his dead wife and rearing their two 'adorable' children, Josh and Beth. It'd be hard work even if his mother wasn't battling cancer: as it is, he needs help.

Enter Hannah Kabbah, a girl he went to school with. Hannah has just lost her job (or possibly been sacked: hard to tell, as her boss was suffering a marshmallow-related speech impediment when she last saw him). She'd love to work with children, but unfortunately is no longer allowed to do so due to a conviction for criminal damage.

Nate thinks she's the perfect person to look after the children. And possibly to look after him -- though of course he would never abuse his position of power, as her employer, in such a way.

The course of true love never does run smooth: Hannah is prone to depression, and outbursts of rage, has a history of self-harm, and eyes up women as well as men. (Though she's had a crush on Nate since her teens.) And Nate is finding it difficult to adjust to a new life in which he is materially comfortable, but losing everything that matters.

The ways in which they open up to one another -- and the honesty of both lead characters -- is charming. How nice to see a romantic couple discussing their various sexual problems! And there's plenty about the tangles of family -- Hannah and her sense of obligation to her sister Ruth and her mother Patience; Nate over-protective of his children because they're the only ones he can protect, and terrified that his mother is dying. Kudos to Talia Hibbert for unfolding a happy ending for all. (It turns out that communication is the key: who knew?)

But the winner, for me, was the depiction of Hannah's depression, anger and self-doubt: how she's constantly trying to second-guess the voice that tells her that her hopes and wishes are unreasonable; how she (usually) squashes down the urge to say exactly what she thinks. An utterly realistic portrayal of mental health issues, without being doom-laden or over-serious.