Tuesday, July 04, 2023

2023/089: The Cost of All Things — Maggie Lehrman

“If you really loved him, you would’ve wanted the memories and the pain. You excused yourself from being a human being.” [p. 285]

A hekamist can sell you a spell that'll give you what you want -- or what you think you want. Ari's boyfriend Win has just died, and she can't bear the grief, so she buys a spell to make her forget him. She doesn't tell the hekamist that she's already had a spell, years ago, to alleviate the trauma of her parents' death in a fire. And spells ... well, spells react with one another. When Ari wakes up the next day with no memory of Win, she finds that her gift for ballet has deserted her too.

Set in an America very like our own, this YA novel is told from four viewpoints: Ari; Markos who was Win's best friend; Kay who's insecure about her friends; and Win (before his death) trying to hide his depression from everybody, including himself. Each of their lives is changed by spells in ways they don't expect, as well -- in some cases -- as ways that were what they thought they wanted. Markos' relationship with his brothers is not what he thought it was, and Ari's friends discover that she lied about mourning Win: she can't remember him at all. And as the timeline skitters back and forward, zeroing in on the night before Win's death, it becomes clear that there's another spell at work.

Spells protect themselves, says the nameless hekamist. They don't want to be broken. They work by rebalancing body, mind and soul: they consist of 'food, blood and will', and are typically presented as sandwiches or cookies. What the spells most reminded me of, though, were medication (especially medication prescribed for mental health issues). They have side effects, especially when combined, and they might stop you being the person you were. "I’d be changing the “real” me forever... [activating the spell] would be the same as killing myself."

There are some powerful themes here, well-handled. The central characters, though occasionally annoying, feel rounded and real: their interactions, their lies and selfishness and love, feel authentic. Every piece of the novel, from Kay's cookies to the hekamist's physical and mental deterioration, fits together to make a whole. The ending is a little melodramatic, but overall an engaging and thought-provoking read.

For Shop Your Shelves Bingo, Summer 2023: purchased 11 MAY 2017, prompt 'Water' (the cover shows four silhouetted people on a boardwalk against bright water).

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